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there was no friend to call tonight
so fifteen hairs in a weightless tangle
keep me company as i soak my mind
entwining like threads around my heart
a neat little bow to remind me
red was never your color
bathwater green, in the way you smile
with only your eyes suits you better
can a body ever warm me this way
i’ll never know until i get out, dry off
tears will never make me clean
words will never say what i mean
and thinking can’t ever make the scars soft
not here
faces in familiar relief upon the ceiling
stare into my naked vulnerability
tissue wiped across my tongue
always to miss the last of my sigh
no answers to be seen in the mirror
i’ll never know until i step back, dry off
breathing will never make it clear
screaming will never dissolve the fear
and loving won’t ever make me soft
not now

– 2004 –